Accept Yourself

April 23, 2019 by Kevin Peter0

Female tourists spread their arms and held their wings, smiling happily.

A sense of dread fills the mind of most people today. Their minds are filled with doubts and thoughts about their actions from the past. It is easy to shut the voices of criticism coming from outside. But what if the hurtful words are coming from your own mind?

I have only two words to say to you – Accept Yourself.

Read more to find out how you can overcome the many self-made barriers and accept yourself and also learn new habits to heal yourself emotionally.

Group of friends help comfort friend who are feeling sad, stressed and pressured.

Whenever we see someone get hurt or crying, we almost immediately feel compassion towards them. Even if we don’t know them, we are able to empathize with them. Now, look back at the last time you were hurt or the time you were crying. Did you show the same level of compassion and empathy to yourself?

And what did you do instead?

portrait of handsome young man pointing to the front

You blamed yourself. You found occasions in your life where you thought you had gone wrong. Your mind filled up with unwanted thoughts. Awful, embarrassing and traumatic memories from the past started occupying your mind. You started experiencing body aches and pains and you were highly disturbed by it.

Strange isn’t it? That we are often nicer to complete strangers than towards our own self?

Around 5,000 people were surveyed by the charity – Action for Happiness and the University of Hertfordshire in the UK in 2013. It listed the main habits practiced by people that led to a drastic improvement in their happiness level. In that study, self-acceptance was shown to make people most happy. In fact, self-acceptance won more points than other habits like being positive, learning new skills, and spending time with friends and family collaborating on a positive project.

young man pointing his mouth

Since you are here, one would assume that you are someone struggling with self-acceptance. So what are the barriers in front of you? Most people surveyed said that to practice self-acceptance, one would have to surrender control. I.e. not do any action and let nature/destiny take its course. This is often the biggest barrier that one faces. Because everyone likes to be in control and charge of their lives and fate. And no one likes to feel like they don’t have any control over their lives.

People also feel that self-acceptance means giving up when in real life, it only means acknowledging our situation and not trying to change it all by ourselves.

Another barrier is the inner critic that resides within us. We don’t have to completely mute him or her. But we certainly have to coax them to offer criticism more gently.

self acceptance

The good news is that it is never too late to begin the journey of self-acceptance and forgiveness. Here are a few simple steps by which you can achieve this.

Follow these simple steps –

  1. By developing feelings of compassion towards yourself.
  2. Practicing meditation and mindfulness to identify harmful ways of thinking and isolating it.
  3. Accepting the many physical ailments in your body. Be it insomnia, pains, aches, various diseases, and illnesses.
  4. Accepting the many mental traumas you have suffered. Accepting the abuse, unwanted thoughts and negative emotions.
  5. And finally, accepting your own body and personality. Celebrate and cherish who you are and what makes you unique in this world and never compare yourself with others.

Remember, acceptance isn’t a solution that magically solves the problems that you are currently facing. Acceptance is merely the starting point on the path to a solution. Self Acceptance is simply telling yourself – “Yes, this is how my life is at the moment. But this is okay. I will overcome this one day.”

Pro Tip: You can try writing positive and compassionate messages and letters to yourself.

Kevin Peter

Kevin Peter is a passionate practitioner in the field of psychology. He divides his time between clinical practice, consulting, and writing. He works as a consultant psychologist at Softmind. He provides Cognitive, Humanistic & Existential therapy treatments to clients to get rid of their maladaptive practices and help identify their honest and sincere self.


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